In life, we are faced with an endless stream of choices, both big and small. Some of these choices are major life decisions we make as we age, while others are subtle choices that we may not even notice. However, it is important to remember that we always have options, even if they may not be ideal.
One common tendency that many of us fall into is to avoid making a deliberate choice and instead accepting the default option. We may procrastinate or avoid participating in the decision-making process because we don't like any of the options presented to us. But even though we may think we are not deciding, we are still held accountable for the outcome. This can lead to feelings of stress, unhappiness, and a sense of being punished or victimized.
Read More
Everyone is busy. I rarely speak with anyone who doesn’t say how busy they are. Unless they are retired or really bored with their job, everyone feels rushed to get more done.
Often this creates a cycle. We feel rushed to get things done so we rush through them. Because we didn’t do a thorough job, we often must redo them later. As more gets added to our plate we rush through it instead of taking the time to do it right.
Read More
As we go through life, it's easy to feel like we're constantly being pulled in different directions. The demands of work, family, and society can all leave us feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. But there's a way to break free from this cycle and find a sense of calmness and peace within ourselves.
The first step is to let go of the idea that we need to control everything. We can't always control what happens around us, but we can control how we respond to it. By focusing on what we can control, and letting go of what we can't, we free ourselves from unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Read More
As we journey through life, the desire for change often takes root within us. Perhaps it's the realization that we've been dining out excessively and want to shed some pounds or save money. It might pertain to our relationships, a longing to be a better partner or to spend more quality time with our children.
These moments of introspection and the desire for a different outcome are common to most individuals. However, the real challenge arises when it's time to translate that desire into action.
Read More
I write a lot of articles about taking responsibility for one’s life. It is important that we learn how to take responsibility so that we can gain control of life and work to improve.
But as with anything in life, the answer of should you take full responsibility isn’t clear cut. To improve, most of us need to move away from blaming others and work on what we can control, not what others have done. But sometimes it truly is something another person did.
Read More
Everyone sees the world through their own personal perspective. How we were raised, where we live, and who are family members are all combine to give us our own uniqueness.
But regardless of who we are, we all experience time. Time frames events and can color how we view situations. Something that we face today feels different than the same challenge viewed 10 years from now. Once the sting of the moment wears off, our memory becomes a glossier version, with less detail and exaggerated aspects.
Read More
I listen to a lot of easygoing music. Whether it is a summer beach song or an upbeat reggae song, I enjoy the relaxing nature of it. Sure, I enjoy a hard-hitting rock song but for me, I get more excited for the song of the rebel with a ska sound behind it than a wall of distorted guitars.
Sometimes the lyrics are a great description of the music. Other times, it seems to provide Jimmy Buffet style escapism to avoid life’s challenges and instead skip away to a tropical island for a beer and hammock or a joint and a concert.
Read More
There is a scene in the Friends TV show when Ross is on sabbatical. He is complaining to his friend Joey that he completed a bunch of chores and still has nothing to do.
Joey’s advice was to slow down and stretch out the things on his to do list. He said he shouldn’t have done it all in a few hours in one morning, but rather should have made it last all week.
Read More
There is a song I really like that isn’t very popular. It is called Never and is written by a Hawaiian reggae band called The Green.
The lyrics are powerful. The music is melodic but feels as if there is this underlying energy. It feels like calm yet forceful energy.
Read More
Raising children provides a never-ending opportunity to learn. Often, I am struck by how wise they are while other times they seem to lack common sense.
One theme that arises when parenting is the idea that they don’t connect their choice with the outcome they receive. They don’t see that they chose to argue with mom creating their punishment. Or they don’t realize that they didn’t return home on time causing them to be grounded. Or they are upset their tablet battery drained but don’t take responsibility for forgetting to charge it overnight.
Read More
Following the systems and habits approach to improvement means that we value consistency. We use it to build future value by designing our thoughts and actions and reinforcing them over time.
When inevitable chaos ensues, which it always does, it can be difficult to maintain that consistent approach. It frustrates us. It causes emotional upheaval.
Read More
Every summer, as the weather starts to warm, my music taste shifts. Normally I am a huge reggae fan. But I tend to shift to the laid-back summer country music that was popularized by Jimmy Buffett and continues through Zach Brown Band, Kenny Chesney, Jesse Rice, Brian Kelley and many more.
The music gets me in the summer mood. The positive, yet melancholy vibe is a welcome and familiar friend after a long, cold winter in Ohio. Any road trip or flight to paradise will include these songs and they recur in my life like Christmas music that comes every summer instead of December.
Read More
Trying to move the needle for any goal requires persistence. I use a technique called setting the minimum quite a bit. It helps transition from hoping and wanting, to action.
The action steps we take are what will determine success or failure. Getting to those steps isn’t always easy. In fact, often we procrastinate and hold back on acting.
Read More
Everyone knows the feeling of taking one step forward and then two steps back. We make a little progress, but that gets reversed. We feel as though we regressed instead of gaining ground.
This frustrates us. We don’t want to go backward. We want to race towards our goals at full speed. Anything less feels like it isn’t enough.
Read More
Life is complicated. There is a complexity to life that flows through everyone and everything. Despite attempts to simplify, there is still uncertainty and intricacy to everything we experience.
Linear thinking removes all the complexity and looks to link 2 points and drawing meaning from them. It tells us that there is one reason for something and one outcome to be expected by various tactics.
Read More
For many, happiness is measured by the pleasurable moments in life. it could the excitement and fun they had. It could be the delicious meal or the feeling of being on a roller coaster.
For others, contentment is the yardstick. Were they relaxed and content with their life or did they feel they had to always be moving? They value the peace and calm.
Read More
In the midst of chaos, it can be very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It engulfs you. It pulls you in. It convinces you that this new normal will last.
But every storm ends. This too shall pass. The turbulent times will give way to peace and calm. We need to be able to keep this perspective to make it through.
Read More
As we travel through life, we often uncover a need to change. It may be that we have been eating out too much and want to lose weight or save money. It might be related to our relationships. We want to be a better spouse or spend more time with our children.
Most people come face to face with a desire to have a different outcome than what they are experiencing at some point in their life. I know I come to this realization often. The problem arises when it comes time to execute on that desire.
Read More
My family and I are planning a trip to the beach this summer. I have been searching for fun family activities and watching the local weather as our excitement grows for some fun, water, and family time.
As I was preparing for the trip, I saw an article about a shark attack close to the beach we are visiting. It interested me and I started to read the article. I realized it was a few years old but still caught me off guard.
Read More
I could never be a politician. Besides the fact that I don’t align with any major political party, I would not be successful. There are many reasons why my skills and ability would leave me struggling in any political role, despite the level of authority and responsibility.
The biggest challenge for me is that I don’t think in groups. I think in terms of the individual. When a politician sees that a certain group should be treated differently or laws should be passed to oversee everyone, I tend to disagree. I feel more harm is often done with these policies.
Read More